Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A New Horizon

Life has been rather crazy lately. I feel like I've been dragged from one thing to the next. Thankfully, I haven't lost my mind. Currently, I'm listening to "We'll Be a Dream" by Demi Lovato. Honestly, I could listen to music all day; it inspires me. Sometimes, I can't put my feelings into words, but I can relate with a song. When I was little, I was determined to be a musician. I used to have concerts for the family. May God bless them. I used to sing everywhere. All I wanted to do was sing sing sing. As I got older, I started to write songs. I wanted to sing music that people could relate with. However, I'm not so good at singing in front of people. The shower is where i'll stay. I read a good quotation today in a book. It said, "The 'haves' and the 'have nots' are usually related to the 'did and the did nots'." Those words made me think a lot. God gives us life as a gift. The days of my life are numbered. I don't want to sit back and let the bad experiences cripple me from savoring every moment of life. I don't want my fears to control my every move. Maybe, it is o.k. to not know everything I want to be right now. Maybe, I need to start being who God created me to be? It is so hard to let go of the past. We want to much to see those who have hurt us to see and experience that pain we've been through. However, the bitterness only chains us to the past. We live every day reliving the hurt, the memories, and the regret. I've been there. I may have not shown it on the outside, but inside I looked at people with disdain. I was and am wrong. At some point, you have to let go. You have to let go of it all and lay it at the feet of Jesus. If you don't, you just live each day in bondage. Do you think we don't let go because we fear we will never have anything else? I believed that lie. We cannot live in freedom with 18 bags of luggage chained to our bodies. Moving on has been a scary process for me. I'm transferring to a new school, working a new job, entering a new stage of life. However, it could be one of the most amazing times that God gives me. Progress takes effort. I'm making an effort to move forward and embrace what life I have left.

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